Japan, I am going to miss your stations that play recorded bird sounds on the platforms.

Dear future-self

cottage/treehouse/log cabin rental holiday.

Dear skin,
don't worry, I'll settle in a place where it doesn't get too hot to wear sunscreen. I admit that this morning is not especially warm, perhaps (only) in the 20s, but my room was warm enough for the cream to have melted before I stepped outside..

Please do not wait until the night before the dinner party to tell the host that the two friends you will bring can not eat two thirds of the dishes that will be prepared. My gosh. The dishes were decided two weeks ago, two weeks prior to the party and were listed in the invitation for all to read. Also, I'd sent out a message last week asking for everyone to let us know if there's anything they can't eat. The problem isn't just that I wish we'd known sooner so that we'd have time to modify the menu, especially before buying the ingredients, but also I am uncomfortable with having put so much effort into organising the preparation of food for 30 people and 2 of them will bring food from outside. Almost feels like my hosting is being put to shame, especially as I'd hoped for a party where we would all share food as well as conversation..

This is where you'll find me

This entry comes after watching Charlie McDonnell's vlog to his future self and I thought it's a neat a idea, an idea I often have, and while I will not consider putting together a vlog for my future self - with my very limited filming/editing capabilities, it is feasible that I might post an entry specificlly for my future self and carry a note in my wallet to remind me to read said post on a certain birthday.. But, actually, I feel that all my posts are for my future self since, well, I'm the only audience I have. Oh I didn't mean for that to come of as a sad "will you follow me" plea, but to remind anyone that stumbles upon this that I am writing to turn my inward garble into prose amusingly documenting my inane thoughts..

Also for both my present and future self, a list of my various internet profiles:

• Last.fm -  to learn about some of my music taste, according to what gets scrobbled from Spotify or we7 (thus it doesn't include the songs I choose at karaoke, the songs I sing along to playing in shops, or what I hear on the radio)
• Twitter - when I have something I want to say to a general mas
• Youtube - it's very likely that I won't upload videos (actually, that could depend on the quality of the HTC Wildfire), so it'll merely be a collection of videos I like and a permission slip to comment on videos
• StumbleUpon - I spend hours strolling through the internet and here's one of the reasons why, plus a way of keeping track of some of the better places I might want to visit again
• We Heart It - I only use this when I am actively procrastinating, as opposed to "oh, I wonder..." then find that all the quick little things I've clicked on have taken up a large part of the house
• Daily Booth - very new to me, I signed up to it as soon as I'd learnt about it (as that's the only way you get to actually experience it) and it could potentially become a big favourite of mine. I don't like how it seems that some 90% of the photos uploaded are of the users themselves and I don't intend to follow it, so here's to hoping my (wishfully) lovely photos will cause a stir and provoke a revolution!

oh, nothing particularly life-changing happened in the missing blog post weeks, btw.

Except for deciding to have a party "to celebrate this wonderful year [as a Waseda student, in Tokyo] with the people that have made it so". Marion is my co-organiser, we've set it as our duty to buy all the supplies for the party. It will be held at the dorm and to make it cheap (and comfortable?) we plan to make the food ourselves, with the help of an army of friends. Menu: okonomiyaki, curry (two kinds: vegetables only and with chicken), potato salad, gyoza, crisps and other such snacks, and perhaps some dozens of cream puffs if we have enough money leftover (we're charging just 1000yen per person).

There will be alcoholic and soft drinks. The base group of invites is comprised of 13 exchange students and each can bring/invite up to 3 people each, so we expected around 50 people but very few have invited people to this party and numbers stand at around 30.

New Blog Chapter!

Evidently, my post-a-day thing failed.. I overestimated my determination/motivation and underestimated my lazy. Good grief. To fight against these horrendous, everlasting characterisitcs of mine, I will keep this post brief, so that I will carry out what I plan to do this afternoon. After finishing this post and posting it, I will turn off the computer and haul what I need to the top floor kitchen and finally T_T start on my sociology paper due Friday.

Actually, I'm going to put here the notes I have for it thus far, because it would amuse my future self (who I hope will have improved her memory and recollection, analysis and connection-making, and general smarty explanation skills - ganbatte).
- self-recognition and realisation of individual self
- social field: ontological knowledge, waves (amplification of emotion/reaction/opinion etc), identity reassurance
- Apollonian vs Dionysian
- blogging and social networks


Now on to the purpose of this blog post [I am actually yelling this title - in my head - but since I haven't the patience to dabble with fonts and such (not so complicated but still fiddly) technical things and won't let myself hand write, colour-code and generally artify my posts.. ¬_¬ this note is longer than the phrase itself = rambling (sorry)].
To further encourage myself to practise writing, for the sake of writing, for the sake of improvement, for the sake of finding something I can be proud of (this is just one of several things I'm "dabbling" with, mostly mentally dabbling with..), I present the following list:

• because I spend hours flitting about the computer, in my posts, I could include links and my reactions to what I've found (also look for 'purrrrrple' on StumbleUpon.com)
• stop talking about the boy, whichever boy it happens to be at the time - it doesn't help with your impression (the impression you're putting forward of yourself), your situation, your frustration (very much), so just do some starjumps and have a chai latte, or make some brownies (with chopped strawberries)
• describe a dress you'd recently designed/thought up
• [bah, I keep switching between first and second person. I think I speak in first person when I'm anywhere between ecstatically happy and mildly content, but anything negatively beyond that becomes second person nagging]
• write that entry on fireflies at Chinsan-zo
• Make a plan to love me [it's a song reference, don't take it too seriously]
• what's happening elsewhere in the world?
• are you eating properly? if not, what would you like to eat and where?

Thank you.

This is the blog of a girl that cried on your shoulder and expects to not have to wait more than 3 days for a reply email, but it's been 2 weeks. You suck. You promised that you would keep in touch. You know that we'd be great friends if you did. You know that even at 22 years old I haven't found my "best friend" yet and that you're probably the closest person to that role, out of all my friends, if only you would keep in touch. I hate-love you.

Also, I'm really freakin hungry. It is half past 2am in Tokyo, I have class at 9am and I want a bicycle to ride across town, eastwards to the sea, as far as I can until I collapse or give in to my hunger and buy an oily bento from the konbini. Or meet some people that want to talk to me and are utterly delightful and we will go to some whacky "outsider's impression of what magic Tokyo holds" kinda place. Why do such mundane nights tend to happen the night before I have an early class? What's more is that I have a full day ahead of me: Japanese 9am -12.10, then I have to get on the train and go for a fieldtrip, to I don't know where, though I do want to go to the computer room on campus (that's only open at night and just 10 minutes' walk away) to print out the instructions, and my day will end when I finaly return to my dorm at 5pm, in time for dinner.

When it's this late, I tend to get complain-y, I think. But watch the "Alex reads Twilight" series on Youtube and you'll think that I'm not that whiny, especially since I've just tipped you off to something LOL funny.

I used to have a still from The Notebook as my desktop background image: it was of the scene where they're laying down in the middle of the road, at night, watching the traffic lights change. But I've now changed it to a photo of Katy Perry, performing on what seems to be a catwalk, wearing a dress where the skirt is a model of a carousel. Forget romance, Prince Charming and "happily ever after". What I need is to remind myself that I can be independent, interesting in my own right and simply amazing (if I just stop spending so much freakin' time on the computer and grow up already).

wah! missed the day-change by a few minutes and I'm too tired for a proper post. sorry. Tomorrow there will be some thoughts on fireflies for you!

This post is going to be a bit of a cheat because, while you might learn a bit about me, I will be hardly saying anything.. I'm sorry, I'm pressed for time. After I post this (that I watched in Gender Studies class today), I must focus on my homework, head out to Paddy's (English conversation club at Waseda), then meet Gwynnie to test out her new oven, I give you this. (At least this way I am keeping up with the a-post-a-day.

I've failed my post-a-day on the fourth day because I didn't want to do it when I was on the computer this morning, skipping class to reply to Stephen's email, urging him to consider breaking up with his girl because "I really do worry that you might both come close to the situation I had found myself in: holding on to a love because of all the joy it had brought you, though all the joys are just memories and depend on you being together" and "I think of the heartache she must be suffering, as she lives for the time to pass until you next meet again (and when will that be?), and how long it might last".

You see, I'm sceptical of long distance relationships working out, especially when there's no definite plan to meet again and for any future meeting to be brief, before another great span of separation, of sombre yearning. I take the stance that "should you both have difficulty in being a happy couple because the absence of the other makes your lives hard to bear, breaking up would allow you both to acknowledge and be grateful for the happy memories you had made, keep the relationship from going sour because you're both frustrated, and allow you to find other joys without feeling guilty or encroaching on the other's desire"..

But, of course, I only say that because I'm not one in the relationship. If I were in their position, it would take some threatening and serious bribing to get me to call off the relationship. ..so I worry my emails to him this morning were too brash and might have upset him, though "I'm determined that it is important for you to understand that breaking up needs to be an option in your mind, in the same way that it was important for me to realise how hopeless and helpless I was, and move on" (but that is not to say I believe their situation is hopeless!).

"If you both believe this will work out for you and are determined to make it so, why wouldn't it?"

Yes, I'm nice enough to balance my heart-wrenching, practical advice with words of encouragement.

"I must emphasise that it is very important, I feel, that you distinguish between giving her time and giving her space. I ask that you give her time, by waiting for her to piece together a reply to your confession. She loves you very much; she doesn't want to lose you and will eventually reply. But don't give her space, don't think that you should wait for her to respond before you send her another email. There's already plenty of space between you and that's what's driving you guys crazy, so send many emails to greet her delightfully each time she opens her inbox.."

(While I realise that posting these excerpts might anger Stephen because I am revealing what might be assumed private between us, I think it is important that my blog contains posts that advise my future self..)

I've just/finally changed the time zone setting on my computer, so that blogs will be posted with timestamps declaring Tokyo time.

Dear Myra, please stop listening to xx and drawing moustaches

I've listened to the album near daily for about two weeks now! It was then that I finally gave it a listen, but I was only enthusiastic to give music more attention to keep my mind off of Steve. Unfortunately, though I feel the album is near perfect, thus listening to it so often, the association of the album with the situation, the timing, makes me sad whenever I listen to it. And even more so when the lyrics fit with strong memories or the situation itself! This, I think, should be a reason encouraging The xx to hasten the production of a new album.

As for the moustaches, ha! I was so impressed by the concept of a moustache party that drawing moustaches has become my way of dealing with stress. When Aaron and I were apart I was determined for him to take it up to. I sent him a photo of a moustache I drew on my shoulder, that would be covered by my t-shirt, cos I thought it'd be a neat gift: for the boyfriend to know of something hidden underneath his girlfriend's clothes (however daft it is!). Recently, I've drawn several moustaches on myleft arm (because I'm right-handed) and on my phone, but, to my dismay, they never turn out symmetrical. I always draw the right side first and always prefer its shape to the left side of the moustach, and I find that odd.

New month's resolution!

After yesterday's sappy blog post, I decided to put the blog log in page as one of my homepage tabs to encourage *drum roll* a post a day! I talk to myself a lot, so I'm sure this should be no problem. Heck, I'm more likely to keep this up that to hand in all my work on time, right?

Tonight is Saehena's birthday do. Her birthday is on the same day as Jean-bean's, so we'll be celebrating them both tonight. ..at 10 Cafe, near the Book Off by Baba Station. The plan is for two hours nomihoudai (for 2000yen), then we'll see where the night takes us, though I imagine my wallet will take me back home. I haven't a gift for either of them, or Rachel's birthday that's coming up soon, but Jenna came up with the neat idea of making Jean a cheese sandwich (using her ultra delicious French cheese!). To this party I will wear the "jumpsuit" (I'm not sure what it's called in British English) that I bought at Forever 21 the other day: after we went to the ward office to sort out our health insurance (and I, the level 1, spoke more Japanese than the other two, who are at levels 2 and 3). "Jumpsuits" are in right now, but it's hard finding one for my height, so I had to succumb to shopping at the American brand's store. And I'm glad I did cos I've not seen myself look so cool in so long.. (Ahh, a shallow blog post..)

Not long before beginning this post, I spoke to my sister on Skype and, among other things, she told me about meeting Faris Rotter (of The Horrors) at Spitalfields Market (and how it took him so long to write an autograph!) and of having her first driving lesson today. She's so nervous about it! It's a two-hour long lesson and she hasn't the foggiest about driving, but may have to drive on the road on her first day. No practise course. Bless! I'm glad I'm not home for mummy to surprise me with having booked a driving lesson.

Dear Myra, why have you drawn a moustache on your arm?

Please don't cry for what can't be. Yes, you are in a most saddening, heart-wrenching position but be happy for the happiness that does exist and could exist for you also, if you go out and find it. Happiness might even be hiding in your room, if you just tidy up a bit.. Remember, that they are in a difficult position also and empathise with their situation. It is hard on all of us. I don't want to sound patronising and possibly unsympathetic, no, that's the opposite of my relationship with you, but there are plenty of people you've yet to meet and should meet.. Of course you could blossom on your own also. There's still so much to you that you've yet to nurture and grow. Bloom and grow.

Love isn't easy, but it is understanding.