I've failed my post-a-day on the fourth day because I didn't want to do it when I was on the computer this morning, skipping class to reply to Stephen's email, urging him to consider breaking up with his girl because "I really do worry that you might both come close to the situation I had found myself in: holding on to a love because of all the joy it had brought you, though all the joys are just memories and depend on you being together" and "I think of the heartache she must be suffering, as she lives for the time to pass until you next meet again (and when will that be?), and how long it might last".

You see, I'm sceptical of long distance relationships working out, especially when there's no definite plan to meet again and for any future meeting to be brief, before another great span of separation, of sombre yearning. I take the stance that "should you both have difficulty in being a happy couple because the absence of the other makes your lives hard to bear, breaking up would allow you both to acknowledge and be grateful for the happy memories you had made, keep the relationship from going sour because you're both frustrated, and allow you to find other joys without feeling guilty or encroaching on the other's desire"..

But, of course, I only say that because I'm not one in the relationship. If I were in their position, it would take some threatening and serious bribing to get me to call off the relationship. ..so I worry my emails to him this morning were too brash and might have upset him, though "I'm determined that it is important for you to understand that breaking up needs to be an option in your mind, in the same way that it was important for me to realise how hopeless and helpless I was, and move on" (but that is not to say I believe their situation is hopeless!).

"If you both believe this will work out for you and are determined to make it so, why wouldn't it?"

Yes, I'm nice enough to balance my heart-wrenching, practical advice with words of encouragement.

"I must emphasise that it is very important, I feel, that you distinguish between giving her time and giving her space. I ask that you give her time, by waiting for her to piece together a reply to your confession. She loves you very much; she doesn't want to lose you and will eventually reply. But don't give her space, don't think that you should wait for her to respond before you send her another email. There's already plenty of space between you and that's what's driving you guys crazy, so send many emails to greet her delightfully each time she opens her inbox.."

(While I realise that posting these excerpts might anger Stephen because I am revealing what might be assumed private between us, I think it is important that my blog contains posts that advise my future self..)