I've failed my post-a-day on the fourth day because I didn't want to do it when I was on the computer this morning, skipping class to reply to Stephen's email, urging him to consider breaking up with his girl because "I really do worry that you might both come close to the situation I had found myself in: holding on to a love because of all the joy it had brought you, though all the joys are just memories and depend on you being together" and "I think of the heartache she must be suffering, as she lives for the time to pass until you next meet again (and when will that be?), and how long it might last".

You see, I'm sceptical of long distance relationships working out, especially when there's no definite plan to meet again and for any future meeting to be brief, before another great span of separation, of sombre yearning. I take the stance that "should you both have difficulty in being a happy couple because the absence of the other makes your lives hard to bear, breaking up would allow you both to acknowledge and be grateful for the happy memories you had made, keep the relationship from going sour because you're both frustrated, and allow you to find other joys without feeling guilty or encroaching on the other's desire"..

But, of course, I only say that because I'm not one in the relationship. If I were in their position, it would take some threatening and serious bribing to get me to call off the relationship. ..so I worry my emails to him this morning were too brash and might have upset him, though "I'm determined that it is important for you to understand that breaking up needs to be an option in your mind, in the same way that it was important for me to realise how hopeless and helpless I was, and move on" (but that is not to say I believe their situation is hopeless!).

"If you both believe this will work out for you and are determined to make it so, why wouldn't it?"

Yes, I'm nice enough to balance my heart-wrenching, practical advice with words of encouragement.

"I must emphasise that it is very important, I feel, that you distinguish between giving her time and giving her space. I ask that you give her time, by waiting for her to piece together a reply to your confession. She loves you very much; she doesn't want to lose you and will eventually reply. But don't give her space, don't think that you should wait for her to respond before you send her another email. There's already plenty of space between you and that's what's driving you guys crazy, so send many emails to greet her delightfully each time she opens her inbox.."

(While I realise that posting these excerpts might anger Stephen because I am revealing what might be assumed private between us, I think it is important that my blog contains posts that advise my future self..)

I've just/finally changed the time zone setting on my computer, so that blogs will be posted with timestamps declaring Tokyo time.

Dear Myra, please stop listening to xx and drawing moustaches

I've listened to the album near daily for about two weeks now! It was then that I finally gave it a listen, but I was only enthusiastic to give music more attention to keep my mind off of Steve. Unfortunately, though I feel the album is near perfect, thus listening to it so often, the association of the album with the situation, the timing, makes me sad whenever I listen to it. And even more so when the lyrics fit with strong memories or the situation itself! This, I think, should be a reason encouraging The xx to hasten the production of a new album.

As for the moustaches, ha! I was so impressed by the concept of a moustache party that drawing moustaches has become my way of dealing with stress. When Aaron and I were apart I was determined for him to take it up to. I sent him a photo of a moustache I drew on my shoulder, that would be covered by my t-shirt, cos I thought it'd be a neat gift: for the boyfriend to know of something hidden underneath his girlfriend's clothes (however daft it is!). Recently, I've drawn several moustaches on myleft arm (because I'm right-handed) and on my phone, but, to my dismay, they never turn out symmetrical. I always draw the right side first and always prefer its shape to the left side of the moustach, and I find that odd.

New month's resolution!

After yesterday's sappy blog post, I decided to put the blog log in page as one of my homepage tabs to encourage *drum roll* a post a day! I talk to myself a lot, so I'm sure this should be no problem. Heck, I'm more likely to keep this up that to hand in all my work on time, right?

Tonight is Saehena's birthday do. Her birthday is on the same day as Jean-bean's, so we'll be celebrating them both tonight. ..at 10 Cafe, near the Book Off by Baba Station. The plan is for two hours nomihoudai (for 2000yen), then we'll see where the night takes us, though I imagine my wallet will take me back home. I haven't a gift for either of them, or Rachel's birthday that's coming up soon, but Jenna came up with the neat idea of making Jean a cheese sandwich (using her ultra delicious French cheese!). To this party I will wear the "jumpsuit" (I'm not sure what it's called in British English) that I bought at Forever 21 the other day: after we went to the ward office to sort out our health insurance (and I, the level 1, spoke more Japanese than the other two, who are at levels 2 and 3). "Jumpsuits" are in right now, but it's hard finding one for my height, so I had to succumb to shopping at the American brand's store. And I'm glad I did cos I've not seen myself look so cool in so long.. (Ahh, a shallow blog post..)

Not long before beginning this post, I spoke to my sister on Skype and, among other things, she told me about meeting Faris Rotter (of The Horrors) at Spitalfields Market (and how it took him so long to write an autograph!) and of having her first driving lesson today. She's so nervous about it! It's a two-hour long lesson and she hasn't the foggiest about driving, but may have to drive on the road on her first day. No practise course. Bless! I'm glad I'm not home for mummy to surprise me with having booked a driving lesson.

Dear Myra, why have you drawn a moustache on your arm?

Please don't cry for what can't be. Yes, you are in a most saddening, heart-wrenching position but be happy for the happiness that does exist and could exist for you also, if you go out and find it. Happiness might even be hiding in your room, if you just tidy up a bit.. Remember, that they are in a difficult position also and empathise with their situation. It is hard on all of us. I don't want to sound patronising and possibly unsympathetic, no, that's the opposite of my relationship with you, but there are plenty of people you've yet to meet and should meet.. Of course you could blossom on your own also. There's still so much to you that you've yet to nurture and grow. Bloom and grow.

Love isn't easy, but it is understanding.